I was prepared to be angry about Christopher Buckley’s latest book Losing Mum and Pup.  I have been a fan – idealized is probably more accurate – of his father’s since a very young age and worried about any attempt at sullying that reputation.  I was so sure a tell-all book about losing both of his parents within a year would be offensive.  Throw in Christo’s (the name his parents used for him) less than astute political judgment of late and I had all but pronounced him beyond the pale.

But I decided to read the book first.  And, despite the difficult nature of the subject, I am glad I did.

Not surprisingly, Losing Mum and Pup reveals that being the only son of two famous, larger-than-life personalities was not always easy.  As is frequently the case, Mr. and Mrs. William F. Buckley’s vices and virtues were both larger than life.  Difficult health issues added another layer of burden on their son in their later years.

I can’t say I always enjoyed reading about the ugly reality of the last days of Christopher’s parents (it is never easy to read about the frailties and foibles of those you idolize); people who, for me, lived a sort of Olympian existence glimpsed only through the pages of books and magazines.  But Christopher’s talent, and clear love for his parents, makes the book a poignant, humorous, and engaging read.

Evaluating a book like this centered, for me, on three questions: why, what, how?  Why write it?  What to include and what to leave out? How did it turn out (was it worth it)?

Many have been asking that first question.  Why write about it now? Why air the dirty laundry in public and disappoint so many?  Christopher answers all of these related questions with a simple answer: “because I am a writer; that’s what I do.”

Writers write.  Put aside the professional aspect (making a living, furthering a career, etc.) this is also how they process and come to terms with life.  Having written it, Christopher comes to understand that this is really what it was all about:

Writing it (I suspect) was intended to enable catharsis; now, as I reach the end, it seems to me that I may have written it out of a more basic need: as an excuse to spend more time with them before letting them go – if, indeed, one ever really lets them go.  So instead of a working-it-out exercise, perhaps this is just a black-and-white album of memories, in which the unfond memories can be leeched of bitterness and settle quietly and stingless like scattered autumn leaves on the soft forest floor.

That paragraph both gets to the heart of what the book is really about and showcases, in the last sentence, the younger Buckley’s very clear talent.

And that brings us to the “what.”  The challenge for Christopher was what to include and what to leave out.  Leave out anything controversial or negative and what is the interest?  Put in too much and it seems like a kiss-and-tell book attempting to profit off his parents fame while at the same time denigrating their reputation and memories.

There are some who probably still feel the later description is accurate.  But I don’t think that is fair.  The book is a glimpse into the lives of the Buckley family as seen through the prism of Christopher having lost both parents in the course of a year.

The excerpt in the New York Times Book Review made it seem like the book was simply a catalog of the horror of growing up with famous parents and the ugly reality of their last years.  But as Neil Freeman noted in his NR review, the book provides much greater context.

Christopher is trying to come to grips with his relationship with his parents; to find some catharsis.  As an honest, and talented, writer he simply had to deal with the struggles and challenges.  Otherwise it would have come off as fake to those that knew the Buckley’s and as just another hagiography to those who didn’t.

But as Christopher so eloquently explained in the Postlude quoted above, the result was not necessarily simply catharsis – getting it off his chest – but a softening of the edges – a “leeching of bitterness” – from the emotion packed memories.  And the reader feels the bitterness seeping away and the love and devotion coming through.  In the end, the later emotions are what matter.

So yes, the book describes some difficult moments in the later months of his parent’s lives.  His dad’s growing dependence on sleeping pills and other medication; or his habit of urinating out of a moving car; or his unwillingness to spend the required money on wine for his wife’s memorial service.

And it relates the difficult side of growing up the only son of these two towering figures.  WFB’s cruel dismissal of one of Christopher’s books: “This one didn’t work for me. Sorry.” His mom’s scathing, and totally inappropriate, verbal attack on her granddaughter’s best friend simply because she was related to a Kennedy.  The day his dad walked out on his college graduation leaving him to wander the campus alone for the day or his mom’s penchant for tall tales.

And more substantive difficult issues are touched on – if not resolved.  Christopher deals with his moving away from his faith and the kind of truce that he had to broker with his father; largely by not talking about it.  And in almost a one liner he notes that his mom seemingly had no connection whatsoever to religious faith despite his father’s famous piety.

But all of this is put in context – not that it excuses the behavior – by the nature of the couple.  In all fairness to most people’s parents, the Buckley’s were simply not your average family. And Christopher recognizes this, even if at time it is cold comfort, but more than that he embraces the great things about his parents even while recognizing their faults.

As a writer Christopher is in awe of his father’s writing abilities (both the quality and the production) and, despite the difficulties, this shared calling or craft formed a bond between the two. He is similarly in awe of his mother’s force of personality; her wit, style, and determination.  Christopher readily acknowledges that whatever his gifts of satire and humor they come from his mother.

This may sound trite, but Christopher clearly loved his parents dearly and they him.  This comes through in the writing and as a result the anger, or offense, one might have felt falls away (the political opinions offered elsewhere are another matter). Or at least it did for me.

And so we come to the last question: how did it turn out or was it worth it? In discussing the first two questions I have gone some way in answering the third, but let me just say that I think Christopher did pull it off.

This is not to say there are not problems.  The humor can sometimes seem forced or over-the-top (a sense of cracking jokes to avoid getting too caught up in the emotions). The “advice for aging boomers who will soon lose their parents” sections seem out of place and discordant (are people really reading to learn about pre-negotiating funeral costs?).  And those looking for more serious examination of Christopher’s relationship with his father, his faith, and his politics will be disappointed.

But for me, the book offered the same thing it offered its author: “an excuse to spend more time with them.”  It offered me a glimpse into the lives of people I have long admired.  Maybe it is the height of tabloid naiveté to say so, but while reading it I felt a little closer to my hero WFB and felt a little less animosity to his son.

And outside of this psychological connection there is the plan fact that Christopher is a talented writer who handles a difficult subject with humor, grace, and skill.  As many others have noted, his parents might not have approved of the revelations contained in this unique book but they are undoubtedly proud of the man their son has become.

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